Top Skills Thursday: Prepare for Stressful Situations

Sometimes we know a stressful situation is coming and we have enough time to prepare for it. In those situations, there are steps we can take to mitigate the stress we can’t avoid.

Full disclosure, I’m facing a situation like this. It is something I could technically sit out, but it’s an important event for the person I’m actually going to support. I’m already preparing myself using some of the following ideas.

First, take stock of the situation. Are you facing a family gathering, a job review, the first day at a new job (which can be exciting but also very stressful), a medical procedure? What is the event that you know is already causing stress and will be stressful to get through? Also, is it something you actually have to do? We do like to put ourselves in situations we don’t have to be in, so check that it’s not something you don’t need to get through. If you can say no, then do, and save yourself the stress altogether.

Second, check your supports. Do you feel you want a therapist to help you, or are you okay without one this time? Do you have the understanding of the people who will have your back? Will any of them be present at the event, and if not, can you invite one? (Less likely for job related events, more likely for social events.)

Third, check yourself. Are you using good self-care? Are you in a place where you can handle the situation calmly? If not, keep reading.

Fourth, prepare your anxiety kit. Make sure you have the things that calm you on hand. Even if you can’t carry them into a business meeting, have them at your desk to use before and after it.

Fifth, prepare time afterward for recovery. Only you will know how long you’ll need to recoup and get through any lingering anxiety or stress. Make sure that time is known to others so they know not to make demands of you during that time.

Sixth, try not to imagine the “worst case” scenario. Alternately, if you can’t stop imagining it, plan how you would handle it if it happened.

Seventh, have an exit plan. Facts are facts, and sometimes we just need to walk out. I don’t recommend doing this for a job review, but have that exit ready for any situation where you have an option to leave. Know when you’ll make that call, too. After leaving, go straight for your kit and your recovery time.

Whatever situation life has coming your way, it doesn’t have to hit you like a freight train. If you prepare for it, it won’t be one. It might not be pleasant, and there may be no way to make it pleasant, but you can at least make it something you can survive.

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