I am a pothos.

This understanding came about while I fought with myself about how to answer the inevitable interview question:

How would you describe yourself as an employee?

Come on, now. I can’t answer that! I show up, I do the things and do them well. Do you seriously need more? What the actual fresh….  Ughhhh.

So, I have to answer this terrible question that dares me to make myself look good but not too good while not disparaging myself either.

So, fine, I’m a pothos.

I’m stubborn about survival. I can endure and even grow in harsh conditions.

I don’t deal well with micromanagement. If you pay too much attention to me, I’ll wilt.

Shove me wherever there’s a little space to call my own. I don’t need a corner office to be happy.

Make sure to tell me when I do well. A little water every few weeks or when I seem droopy is fine.

Encourage me now and then. Indirect light is fine. If it’s always from the same direction you’ll want to turn the pot so I don’t grow lopsided.

This is how I function as an employee. Please be warned, my species does tend to take over an office. We’re very adaptable and will drop roots in everything.

What do you think? Does it work?

I probably won’t use it, but it made me chuckle and I did end up figuring out an answer for the question so I’m prepared when it tries to pull a sneak attack on me again.

Oh, and I’m still a little basket, just not at work.