Free-form Friday: Just an update on me

(Please note, the image for this post will be me in a relatively short time.)

Well, another week has flown by. I’m having my usual Friday morning feeling of, “I didn’t accomplish anything this week.”

I hate that feeling because it’s so rarely true. Still, not seeing progress in any tangible way is often frustrating. It is, I think, the biggest down-side for me when it comes to working on a computer so much. I have files, and I see the files increase in number and size, but I can’t touch them.

Just proof that yes, even I feel like a terrible slacker no matter how much I do. Ha.

I’ve been on the hunt for a job for a little over a month now. I’ve had a few interviews I was thankfully able to slip in before work, but nothing has come of them so far. It’s frustrating and has been triggering a fair run of depression over the last couple of weeks. It even made it harder to work because literally every call felt like another chain locking me down and ensuring I would never move forward.

Let me tell ya, depression and post-covid fatigue together will absolutely suck the life out of you.

I finally started to pull myself out of the icky headspace yesterday. First step, accept what is. I hate that step. It’s a doozy.

Fact: I work in a call center. Fact: I am ready to move forward but lack experience. Fact: I have amazing managers who believe in me and want to see me move forward, and who provide me opportunities where they can so I can show off my skills. Fact: The job market is super hot right now, but I’m probably competing with people who left positions as a part of the “great resignation” and who have the experience I lack. I’m not going to beat them out.

Welp, that’s a bleak stack of bs, isn’t it?

Let me add, based on the things I learned studying Economics in my first college attempt; we’re heading for another recession within the next year. If the housing market bubble pops as hard as analysts are predicting, we’ll probably be slamming headfirst into a depression because the US and the global economy have not recovered from the pandemic. Don’t panic, please. These cycles are normal, but this one is likely to be a little heftier because of the pandemic being a leading cause. Save your money, diversify your investments and retirement plans. Don’t leave everything for your future in stocks or other recession-impacted investments. It’ll be okay.

I look at where I am and what’s coming. I realized, it might be in my interest to focus on where I am rather than trying to launch a career change. Then, I decided to see what else my current employer can offer. Turned out there are a few things. One is a mentoring program. I’ll be going to the office a little early today to sign up for it. Hopefully I’ll find someone who is in the department I want to get into next and will kick a door open.

Another thing they’re still doing is tuition. Not even reimbursement, just straight up tuition paid to the school of my choice (out of the ones they have made deals with). I have a BA in Project Management.

So, I’ve made the decision to go for a Master’s degree. I’m thinking it’ll be in marketing because that’s a skill set I just don’t have. By the time I finish writing the Half-Life series I’ll have completed whichever program I end up signing up for. That alone may mean going indie with it. If I can handle the marketing properly, I mean, why not? The story will sell itself.

The trad/indie debate will continue until the work is complete.

Otherwise, I’m just kind of doing the adulting and getting through. Depression takes a toll on the creativity and writing, so I’ve been editing instead. One of the joys of not having a boss for the writing is that I can switch gears and still get things done. That first book needs edits and revisions as much as the second book needs to be written. There’s no required order or priority on either. Whew!

I hope that anyone reading this is taking care of themselves. You’re important, too. You really do matter, even if you’re next to me in feeling like maybe you don’t. Remember, depression is a lying bitch. Kick it, really hard, somewhere that’ll hurt it right back.

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