Oooh yes, I’m going for the jugular today! Straight to one of the ways we harm ourselves the most and learning to stop doing it!
How many times do you tell yourself you’re stupid, criticize your body, downplay the quality of your work, or do other things to minimize yourself and your value? Odds are you do it more than you think.
Even with years of practice, I find ways to demean myself in my own thoughts all the time. It’s frustrating to know that I’m doing it to myself, but some habits are harder to break than others. Learning to engage in positive self-talk is important to overcoming so many other issues that keep us from moving in our own power and experiencing our fullest capacities.
A friend once told me, when my self-talk came out in words instead of staying inside my head, “Hey, that’s my friend you’re talking about!”
That one phrase, that declaration, has stuck with me through the years. I’ve used it myself a few times.
Why would we talk about ourselves in ways we’d never want someone to talk about one of our friends? It doesn’t make sense, right?
The why’s are varied enough that I’ll let each of you sort that part out with your therapists. In the meantime, let’s play a game today.
Each time you start to say something about yourself, be your friend. Would your friend let someone say that about you? What would your friend say to counter that thought? Let me give an example.
My brain: You made an absolute mess of dinner. Look at that slop. It doesn’t even look worth eating.
Me, as my friend: Hey! My friend makes amazing food! Everyone loves it. Stop being mean. It doesn’t have to look like it’s from some fancy restaurant, it’s going to be delicious.
My brain: You didn’t even dust this week. You’re such a slob.
Me, as my friend: Who cares? Dusting takes all of five minutes. Look at this list of things she DID accomplish on top of keeping up with literally every other part of the housework!
So today, let’s be our own friends and practice that positive self-talk. The world does enough to tear us down. We don’t need to be helping it.
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