After lots of therapy, and a new therapist, I finally have enough headspace to write again. I’m working on new posts for everyone, and back on my stories as well. It’s a wonderful feeling. Nothing I do makes me as happy as being able to write. Not being able to write is a recipe for some nasty depression.
This brings me to a germane point about therapy and therapists.
I’ve known several people who started therapy and then quit. When I asked why, they would say something to the effect of, “It wasn’t helping.”
Reality being what it is, and therapists suffering under the affliction of being human, not every therapist will be the right therapist for every patient. There has to be a connection between the therapist and the patient and the therapist has to have the right tools to help the patient. Without those two pieces, no, therapy won’t help. In fact, it can feel like sinking into a bog.
Let me expand a little, from my personal experiences.
I’ve had therapists who were skilled in a variety of theraputic practices. The first therapist I ever saw used gestalt, I’ve been through DBT, I’ve researched Jungian psychology on my own, ad nauseum. And here, after 20+ years of being in and out of therapy, I’ve found EMDR. The practices varied in effectiveness, but the simplest fact of the matter is this:
The therapies that were most effective were used by therapists who I trusted. My trust in them held me to the course of treatment even when I was skeptical about it.
I’m not talking about therapists that I trusted to maintain confidentiality, either. That should be a given from the instant the door to their offices close. I’m talking about therapists I could open up to without fear of being shipped off to the looney bins, or without having them decide I was the next psycho on the news. These therapists understood the difference between “This is the stuff my brain is throwing at me and I do not like it” and “I’m going to act on this horrifying idea.”
That level of trust allowed me to let them dig deeper into my trauma than anyone else had been permitted. When they said “Do this things and it will relieve that pain” I did it, even when I gave them a funny look first.
Was a particular type of therapy better? Well, I will say, EMDR is like magic. I can’t begin to explain it, but man, that stuff works for me. And that’s the trick as well. It works for me. Another person may benefit more from DBT or another form of therapy.
If you’re struggling under the weight of your past, and your therapist hasn’t been able to move you forward, find another therapist, try a different form of therapy, there are solutions out there that will work for you. In fact, if you tell your therapist you aren’t finding the results you want, they may have suggestions to help you find someone who can help you more effectively. Don’t give up on therapy altogether if you know you need help, though. Something pushed you to try it, so keep looking. You deserve to be free of mental torment.
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